Even as a wedding planner, I’d be lying if I said I remained cool, calm and collected throughout organising my own wedding… Wedding stress is real. We all get stressed from time to time, and organising a large event like a wedding can become incredibly difficult. It’s important to make sure that the stress of your big day doesn’t ruin the planning process, it’s such an exciting time and the last thing you want is to feel overwhelmed or unhappy.
If you’re concerned that your stress levels are getting the better of you, I’ve got a few tips to get you back on the right track…
Recognise that you’re stressed
Being able to spot the signs is a key part of beating overwhelm. If you notice that you feel unhappy, tired or moody it might be time to check in with yourself and figure out what might be causing these negative emotions. Finding out what triggers stress is half the battle, and you’ll feel so much better once you’re able to clear your head. It might not even be directly wedding related, but wedding planning might not be helping.
Write a list
Things are always worse when they’re swimming around in your head. Even if it seems like a simplistic/overwhelming (use as appropriate) task, try to write down each thing in order of importance. You may feel worse at the beginning of jotting down a to-do list, but once you’ve got everything down on paper you’ll have a sense of clarity (even if you still have loads to do).
Then, prioritise. Start checking off the list but only do the things that need doing there and then, there’s no point making the place settings if you don’t have a venue yet. Your list will also help you delegate further down the line and will help your other half understand why you’re stressed.
Ask for help
Don’t be afraid to ask for help, your close family and friends are definitely expecting to pitch in. (Your ‘maids at the very least!) The more you all work together now, the less there will be to do before the big day. Delegate various tasks to different people; if you have a creative friend ask them to help with the invites, likewise, if you know someone super organised have them create your wedding spreadsheets. It might even be fun to work together, especially if you can crack open a bottle of bubbles. Any chance for a celebration!
Be open about your feelings
Talk to your other half about how you’re feeling, they’ll want to know if you’re feeling upset. Even if you feel as though you’re all alone in the planning process, a good long chat can do the world of good. It’s also so important to have these discussions before you get married to each other, so as not to carry any resentment into your new married life together. Sit down with your partner and explain to them the reasons why you’ve been feeling stressed, you can also hand them the to-do list you made.
It’s important to keep communication open so that your other half can understand the reasons why you might be stressed, but also so they know it’s not that you’re getting cold feet!
It’s really important to make sure that you’re taking time out from all the wedding planning to relax and look after yourself. Self-care is one of the most important steps in beating stress; no matter how much you think you have to do, take some time out to get your head in order. Have a bath, go shopping, read a book, go for a walk, whatever helps you feel relaxed. Wedding planning while you have a full time job is really difficult, so it can sometimes feel like you’re working round the clock if you are doing wedding planning bits and bobs when you get home in the evenings after a full day of work. Treats or rewards are also great motivators!
Take time out
Make sure to put some time aside to talk about things separate from the wedding. It might be tempting to fill any spare time you have with wedding tasks or wedding chat, but you may end up driving other people and yourself crazy if it’s all you talk about! Remember that even though a wedding is a huge life event, it is just one day. There are many other great things about life to celebrate, so don’t forget about all the things that made you happy before you got engaged! Also, don’t forget to check in with friends and family, it can be easy to get consumed by it all!
Take one task at a time
No matter how long that to do list is, make sure to take each task at a time. It may be tempting to take on a lot of jobs at once, but you’ll end up feeling confused, and before long you’ll want to give up completely. Write one to-do list for each area and break that down into manageable tasks.
As an example, flowers: email florist mood boards, check dimensions for venue, research buttonholes.
Before long you’ll be feeling in control and organised again!
And if it all get’s a bit too much…
Hire a wedding planner! (…I have loads of flexible pick + mix services, have a look at my services and perhaps just knowing they’re there might ease your mind!)
I really hope this post was helpful, if you stick to these steps you’ll be feeling calmer in no time.
Best of luck with your planning, and if all else fails a glass of wine and a bath is a good start!